The Truth About Expectations

We are ~almost~ at the holidays (Thanksgiving is tomorrow…I mean, we can’t get any closer without being fully immersed in the season), and while the holiday season is, undoubtedly, one of the best times of the year, it can also be one of the busiest.

Maybe you have several work deadlines that you need to meet before you can take your much-needed time off for the holidays. Or maybe you still have a lot to do to prepare for your family holiday celebrations. Regardless of what it is that you have to do, when you’re busy, you’re busy…and I know just how easy it can be to let the stress of your “to-do” list overshadow the enjoyment of everyday life.

…So, before we put our feet up and (hopefully) relax for the extended weekend, I wanted to tackle the topic of expectations—we all set expectations for ourselves, not only within the holiday season (when we tend to be overly busy), but also within our everyday routines. Establishing these expectations, that’s the easy part (arguably way too easy), but learning to take it easy on ourselves, that’s where the challenge exists.

I always considered myself to be “busy” in college—between classes, homework, extracurriculars, and my social life, I felt like I had very few moments to just breathe. I did have a lot on my plate throughout my four years of college, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t until recently, when I entered the “real world” and began working full-time, that I came to realize what being “busy”, to the fullest extent, truly looked like.

Before beginning my corporate job about a month-and-a-half ago, I thought I had mapped out my life outside of work to an exact science. Eat healthy every day and workout at least five times a week—no problem. Wake up early every weekday morning to study for my upcoming exam—easy. Write at least one new blog post every weekend—without a doubt. Get a good night sleep, make time for socializing on a weekly basis, and carve out a little bit of me-time—done. Nothing too unreasonable here, right?

As it turns out, I could not be more wrong. I quickly came to realize just how difficult it would be to accomplish everything I needed and wanted to do within the parameters I had set for myself. Yes, my job involves sitting at desk and working on a computer, sometimes 8 hours a day, sometimes more. What you don’t realize, until you’re actually working a 40+ hour week, is just how exhausting sitting at a desk, in front of screen, could actually be…and when you exhaust your mind, you don’t wake up at 6:00 every weekday morning to study, and you don’t always feel like gearing up at night for a workout…and when you don’t get done during the week what you had planned to do, that carries over into your weekend. I think you get the point—my perfectly mapped out plan wasn’t so perfect after all.

I set expectations for myself, and I couldn’t meet them. We all know how disappointing that can be, and how easy it is to let this disappointment impact other aspects of our lives. Nobody wants to feel like they’ve “failed” at something that they’ve set out to do…and the truth of the matter is, you haven’t. We always want to think that we’re capable of our absolute most at all times, and we are…but with that also comes limits that we often overlook. Disregarding our limits will, inevitably, lead to burnout, and quickly, so instead of progressing at a slower pace, you find yourself at a complete standstill…and once you’re in the “expectation-disappointment” cycle, it can be hard to get yourself out of it.

I’m definitely no expert when it comes to this, but what I have learned, especially over the past few months, is how important it is to take it easy on yourself. You have to remember that you’re doing the best that you can with the time and the resources that you have, and you will ultimately accomplish everything that you have set out to do. If you can’t exercise five times a week right now, maybe start out with a goal of three or four days, and then work up to five when the right time presents itself. If you decide to have a cheat meal, don’t dwell on the fact that you’ve “broken” your diet. Enjoy it and know that it’s okay to give into your cravings from time to time. I know it’s so much easier said than done, but when we learn to go with the flow a little more, and let ourselves adapt to the changes in our lives (not force ourselves to in a certain way), our busiest and most stressful times seem a little bit more manageable.

So, as we enter into the holiday season, remember to take it easy on yourself a little bit. This is one of the best times of every year, so enjoy your celebrations, and don’t let your expectations for this time of year overshadow how amazing everything truly is. If anything, think of this as a gift you’re giving to yourself…

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving and start to the holiday season!