What I’ve Learned in College

This past Monday, I graduated from college. Despite the obstacles faced by us all throughout this past year, I was able to celebrate my accomplishments of the past four years at an in-person graduation ceremony…I walked across the graduation stage (without falling, thankfully), accepted my diploma, and said a bittersweet goodbye to my college years.

I’ve learned a lot over these past four years. Yes, receiving a liberal arts education will cause you to learn a little bit about everything…but I’m not just talking about learning inside the classroom. I’ve also learned a lot about life, the world around me, and most importantly, myself. Without a doubt, I can say that these past four years have been the most transformative of my life to date. I still cannot believe that the girl that walked across the graduation stage earlier this week is the same girl that moved away from home for the first time four years ago.

Here are some of the most valuable lessons that I’ve learned, some easier than others, throughout my college experience:

It’s okay to spend time alone.

This was probably one of the hardest ideas for me to grasp. In my opinion, one of the biggest misconceptions associated with college is that you should ALWAYS be with other people, and if you’re alone, you’re doing something wrong. This could not be further from the truth. Spending time by yourself is important and being in a college environment doesn’t change that. We need time alone to relax, regroup, and collect our thoughts, which are things that aren’t easy to accomplish when surrounded by a group of people…so go back to your room, lay on your bed, and watch an episode of your favorite TV show in the middle of the day; eat a meal in the dining hall while listening to music and simply observing those around you; walk around a local store or mall; grab a cup of coffee from your favorite off-campus location…There’s nothing wrong with being alone. You may even need the time alone more than you think you do.   

Always do what’s best for you, regardless of what others think.

There really is no such thing as “right” or “wrong” when it comes to making decisions for yourself. In college, you’re around a lot of different people at different points in time—in classes, the dining hall, at parties or social events, and even in your dorm—making it all too easy to be influenced by the ideas and feelings of others. However, every person has their own unique interests, ideas of “good” and “bad”, and established comfort zones, so there is no other person appropriately suited to make decisions for you except for you. What may be best for others may not be best for you, and it’s important to remember that always when making decisions, regardless of what others may think of your choices. At the end of the day, you’re the one and only person that truly has to live with the outcome of the decisions that you make.

Expectations can lead to disappointment.

This may not seem like the most optimistic point to make, but in my opinion, it’s an important one. Social media has given us “access” into the lives of those we know and even those that we don’t, but not to the full extent. Even though it may seem like we know what a person’s life is like through the number of followers that they have and the pictures that they post, we’re really only seeing what those people want us to see…and with that, social media does not reveal to us the “story” behind the posts. As cliché as it may sound, social media is truly a highlight reel, and because of this, we often set unreasonable expectations for ourselves based off of the “perfect” lives and experiences of those that we follow. Everyone’s college experience is unique, and regardless of how it may seem, every day and every experience won’t be your best.  You may not have plans for every night of every weekend, and you may not always enjoy the ones that you do. Go into every day and every experience with an open mind and without expectations, and you’re more likely to find the positive in the things that you do.  

Embrace every experience, good or bad.

In college, and in life, in general, everything you do is an experience. With that, not every experience has to be a good one in order to be memorable. Good experiences give us great stories to tell, and bad experiences stand to teach us the most important lessons about life and about ourselves. You may not get along great with one of your roommates, but this living situation taught you about compromise and how to live with another person outside of your family. You may not enjoy every party or social event that you go to, but each “failure” makes you more independent, and further introduces you to the type of social environments in which you truly thrive. Embrace the lessons that your college experiences teach you. Good or bad, they’re shaping you into the person that you’ll ultimately become, without you even realizing it.

Be yourself.

The most significant lesson that I can take from these past four years is how important it is to always be yourself. When you first enter into your new college environment, and are surrounded by countless unfamiliar faces, it may seem like the way to fit in fast is to “play along” with the words and ways of others, even if that means acting differently than the person that you truly are. We can all very easily be guilty of this, and probably all have been at one point or another within our lives, pretending to like things that we don’t or even simply speaking in a way that is different than we would with the people closest to us. College may seem like a completely different world to fit into, but it’s just as much your life as anything else, and trying to be something that you’re not will only “harm” you in the long run. Always be the person that you are, pursue your true interests, and associate with people that make you feel as if being yourself is more than okay. Everything will work out the way that it’s supposed to if you do it the right way, as yourself.

Your college years can be some of your most trying years—leaving home for the first time and being independent, having to make connections in completely unfamiliar surroundings, deciding what you want to do for the rest of your life—but it can also be some of your most rewarding years. I would not be the person I am today if it had not been for every experience—exciting, terrifying, emotional—these past four years, and the lessons that came with each one of them…so I guess what I’m trying to say in all of this is to make the most of your college experience…try new things, take chances, have fun, and always stay true to yourself…Believe me, four years goes by a lot faster than you think.